The Life of Wighar Stamfaste

Signed and Done

I payed the invoice last night for another 3 months on the Left 4 Dead 2 Server designated [Stamfaste.se] Left 4 Dead 2 Server #1, I had some donated money that was given to me by hand, though I prefer such be done via paypal as I can keep track of the donations better that way

So why do I do it?, I mean rent game servers that then are payed for with help of donations?
Well the thing is that I enjoy gaming like most and like being able to provide an enjoyable atmosphere for players like my self.
Enjoyable atmosphere?, As in a place where players can enjoy liberty from bad behaved players and cheaters, and can fully enjoy the game without distracting elements.

Query: But you suffer from panic attacks and lowered stress tolerance and should not do anything that increases stress or such things?
Answer: Indeed I should not and I hope that players that are respective and are able to share the burden of administrating the servers, keeping the players on the server following the rules of the game and those In-house rules that we expect players to follow to keep the atmosphere as I mentioned a enjoyable one.

Query: So why donations then if you are so generous and well meaning on your part, why not pay for it in full yourself?
Answer: If I had a job and didn’t have the issues I have, I probably would, but such is not the situation, I hope that I one day can be cured of my stress issues and attacks so that I can get a normal life and can provide more to the online community.
I know that relying on public donations wont expand or keep this up in the long run, but it is my hope that players that enjoy the same values in gaming as I do, consider it a cause worth the investment, after all the money is not used for my own benefit but the players.
If by luck the donations and the ad revenue from the google adsense program goes over that of the total cost of the servers rental period payments, then they will be invested/focused on the next payment period or even on additional servers or new game servers.
So how does this profit me?, my profit out of this might seem strange to some but it is the happiness that people gain from what I wish to provide them, life is to short to simply focus on ones own enjoyment so to go on an old cliche “sharing is caring”, Would I profit financially from this?, from the donations, No as I explained earlier they allready have a use and they would not benefit my own economy, my own economy has sufficient funds to keep me up with a computer to play the games on, a roof over my head and provide me with food and medicine so I don’t see a reason to profit financially from all of this, If i had any specific need that requires additional funds then those that my economy cant handle, I still would not use any of the donations for my own benefit as those donations are for the game servers and not my own usage.

Anyway let’s move on..

Radiation and Biology

So I have this week played BioShock 2 and S.T.A.L.K.E.R Call of pirpyat, I was amazed of how much more improved graphics and feel BioShock 2 has against its predecessor, the new content and additional rework of the special skills makes the game more vibrant and the story makes the game a good qualifier for replay value and a desire for a next installment of the series, dosen’t matter if it be in rapture for a 3rd time as long as the story benefits from it.

If you never played BioShock, BioShock 2 wont be any problem, it will however give you the desire to buy the first game just to get more into the plot of the story

Let’s not forget S.T.A.L.K.E.R CoP (Call of Pripyat), once more you are back in the Zone, now as a Major of USS undercover as a Free Stalker to investigate a failed military operation into the Zone where 5 helicopters did not return.
The graphics have been improved in some aspects as well as many of the functions, and as in Clear Sky the Zone once more suffer from emissions that will kill you if you do not find sufficient cover, investigate the Zone for clues to what happend to the helicopters and what secrets is hidden in the radiation of the Zone.

I believe it is time to end this post here as I can’t think of anything worth of writing.
until next time, have fun and play fair.

Left 4 Dead 2 – The Versus Mode

During the last 2 weeks I have gone from playing normal campaign mode in Left 4 Dead 2 to the Versus mode, which I never tried in left 4 Dead so I thought it was worth to at least try it.
I must confess I love playing as the Infected, most of all I like to freak the survivors by being the Hunter, moving around them out of sight and crouching to make the hunter growling sound and sometimes pounce around an area just so they hear the attack scream close by, or I pounce right into the center and jump around among them before going for my target.

The Spitter and Boomer are a brutal combo when setting up a ambush, have the Boomer vomit on them or get in among them to cover them all in bile when he/she blows up, and while the horde of zombies come from all over a perfect spit will make life hard for the poor survivors, if your lucky one of them will be knocked over.
The Charger can make instant death possible in some areas, as the Charger makes his charge your either stuck infront of the running train accident to happened or your thrown away to the side, if extremely unlucky your thrown into deep water, which means instant death in most cases.

As I got bored of the constant bad ping on servers I decided to do what I used to do before, I used to administrate dedicated game server, so checking that I had so I could afford it on my own hand finding that I could indeed squeeze it in for less than expected, I ordered a 8 slot(s) Left 4 Dead 2 Server from interactive 3D, I have been a customer with i3D for sometime and almost all of my game server rentals has been with them, mostly due to low ping and helpful customer service.
At the moment I am trying to figure out why the server wont accept my orders to go into versus mode only, if I cant figure it out I’ll contact customer support.
I made some new friends on the versus course and I am happy to get invites to games when possible, that is if I don’t check the friends column for games their in.

Parts of my history and on subject of love
recently one could read that The Gamer’s Girl got her engagement ring, Congratulations ^_^ I am happy for her.

I do wish I had a girlfriend myself, but as I mentioned in my blog earlier I have a unknown panic attack syndrome, claustrophobia and agoraphobia among the few.

I guess I can write about it as I am pretty open in my blog anyways..

When I was around 4 years old I believe it was I was approached now and then by a bit older kids say like 6 – 9 years of age, asking if I was the younger brother of OB (I will refer to my older brother as OB for Older Brother from here on), of course I answered truthfully that yes I am OB’s younger brother and they began to ask if he was stupid or strange, (He has Dyslexia, which at that time wasn’t so well known as is now) of course as it was my brother they were bad mouthing I was offended that they talked badly about my brother, and this got me into fights and general discomfortable situations.

Now years afterwards I believe this to be a reason why I had such a bad social knowledge, when i began in preschool some began to tease me cause at this stage the previous problems had made me easy to anger and situations often got problematic…

The year I turned 7 I started school and had no knowledge of what was awaited of me or how things would turn out, the class was like 25 students in a small class room and me with claustrophobia and the presence of so many new faces and some which I remember that bullied me during preschool…
I was in that school for only 2 weeks, they had to evacuate me cause they jumped me on the playground, stole my shoes and threw them on the roof and as memory serves someone poured his food inside my shirt during lunch, a small fight broke out and at the end I was blamed by many as the one that started it.

I started a new school after that in a “small class”, lack of a english equalent name for it, basicly a group of outcasts or “special” kids, my problem was of course the social damage and bullying, at least on this school I wasn’t bullied or attacked everyday, it was calmer and I never had any major incidents like that of the other school, teasing and bullying was less frequent and I was not openly attacked here so I had some social reformation, but at this time I felt safer being closer to grown ups so if I felt that tension was high I went to look for a teacher on patrol until it was time to go back to class.

at 4th grade I began in a “small class” for the older kids, 4th to 6th grade, it became a bit rougher then as the other classmates were a bit of the rougher kind and bad tension occurred now and then but never any major fights.

after 6th grade I was moved over to a School for kids with various problems, some of them was there for major problems like drugs or the general trouble maker that starts fights for no reason at all…

The school was at least directly social adjustable after each students needs, I got some help with regaining social trust and help developing to a more posetiveperson, later on after the years I had spent at that school I moved over to a specialised high school with less problematic students, basicly people who had learning disorders went to this school, I ended up there probably due to the social adjustments I needed to help me add some extra points to my general grades, The school was roughly 2 hours total including a combination of travel with train and subway.

The year I was to turn 18 I technicly graduated from that high school and after summer I had choosen to go to Adult Community School (I believe one can translate it as such) that fall I had my first panic attack and pretty much had them every night until i was given medication against it, the attacks I had back then was so intense that I was acctauly placed on the highest allowed dosage and they pretty much made me a walking zombie, I cumped in to everything, as I needed the income one gets when going to school I had to continue even though every day I was depressed, sleepy constantly and affraid of the next panic attack coming around the corner…

This kept on during my later studies as well and I still have panic attacks, but I stoped going to school when I was finally able to get economic support from the goverment, so these days I have a balanced medication that keeps me well enough to do less straining things and everything dosent feel like walking with lead weights on your shoulders.

So back to where we started with the pointing out that I don’t have a girlfriend, this is partialycause that I toke the stance when I was 19 that I would feel really bad having to burden someone I love with the problematics and hardship I endure in life, I am 26 now and so I have had panic attacks for 8 years now, It’s been rough now and again, but I believe I am now so stable that I can have a girlfriend, just hope I meet some nice girls to get to know

On that note I think I may have bored you enough or prehaps enlightend you, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

I just had a run of versus in L4D2, I ended up on a server with like 10-14 year olds, so childish language and one of them that seemed to be a real d-bag kept on being a little shit for most of the game, in the early stages I proved his team that acting an arse wasn’t in his best favor, they basically got like 8-10% of the way in before we ambushed them and ended it there, the match went on, and in the end the team I was on won by +600 points

Basically people, being a dunce and a easily raged person won’t make you a good team player or someone people want to play with in the long run.