The Life of Wighar Stamfaste

Sunday April 18th morning, my aunt took her last breath and passed away, she was 53, she was my favourite aunt and she was one of those who in my life gave support and strength even at times when I did not need it.
My aunt and I both have Alpha 1-antitrypsin deficiency, which in some may cause emphysema in their later life and there is also a small risk of liver problems.
This is one of those reasons I immediately stopped smoking and at later stage stopped drinking alcohol at parties.
The way I found out I had this deficiency was thru a blood test where my mother asked the doctor that it be tested for in the same time they were probing to find an answer to why I had panic attacks, this being at the spring the year after I got my first panic attacks, as you might understand I had no real knowledge of what the deficiency was about other than that my aunt had it and she was a heavy smoker when younger and had a more progressed situation.
This means that when she came for a visit we had to clean the house at least the day before to remove and clear out dust as well we could not wear any perfumes or antiperspirants which could be bad for her lungs, those who know people with asthma or acute perfume allergy should recognize the need of keeping a clean environment and the air clean of high/heavy concentration chemicals.
Do I have any reaction to high dust or chemical allergy?, Yes I do have reactions to them but not in that extent, I can get nausea and dizziness from some types of perfume over usage or heavy perfumed fabric softeners.
The usual behavior I have seen when people see others that are allergic showing reactions to these things is often simple ignorance or the assumption that the person(s) is faking it to get attention or that they don’t ‘approve’ of the certain smell they are wearing.
Anyway getting bad memories on the subject of perfumes so I will go on to something different.

Mount & Blade: Warband

Mount & Blade in itself is a rather unique Action RPG even without the Warband stand alone expansion version, I myself have not played the original game but went straight for Warband and I love it and the M&B system seems rather easy to mod and I would not be surprised if there will be an abundance of excellent mods to be played in the coming years, having had some time to play the game and try out to start my own kingdom/faction in the game I found it lacking of a specific own faction/rebel kingdom army so I started fiddling on some new troops using “Morgh’s M&B Warband TXT Tools”.

To make it simple I plainly copied the “Native” (vanilla M&B:W game module) and renamed the copy to Rebelarmy that and then started playing around with the tool to see what I could do with it, as for the moment I have no intention of making it public, that is until I am certain that I can make the modified module legally public without problems, better safe then sorry.

Speaking of modifications to M&B:W, I was daydreaming on what one could do or modify into the game and here is a few ideas.

If your not joining a faction you might simply set up in a factions town and have one of your adventuring heroes establish in the local tavern as a mercenary liaison agent that offers men-for-hire to the local caravans heading from the city or if you are in good favor with the local lord offer your men for favorable rates and as favor improves maybe some of the loot from their campaigns or why stop there you are not a loyal subject so why play nice, have some shady dealings with the underworld providing information to lords of the other factions for a price, do some racketeering (extorting local businesses for “protection” money and such.) of course you must try and set up a regular bribe with the guards or risk be run out of town and fall in disfavor with the local lord and his faction.

‘Why not make the mod yourself?’ you might ask, well I would though I don’t think I could take the pressure, not with my stress tolerance at this time anyway, if I did have the right stress tolerance and knowledge of how to make the mod I would probably be punching code and going thru plans and asking for help from experienced modders that could provide some free on their off-time help with it.

Anyway let’s move on to something a bit different.

Starcraft 2: Wings of Liberty to be released on the 27th of July!

I personally want to get into the story and see where the story takes me and what has evolved since the end of the Brood Wars expansion.
When it comes to RTS the story of the game tells if it has a good story that you want to replay the story again, I think they made it rather good in the previous Starcraft and I hope that it will be this time as well.
Multiplayer is as well a good angle but if the story of the game is not interesting enough to entangle the player into the story its just not worth it, but I don’t think it will be like that this time as the game is divided into 3 releases based on the 3 races each getting a game and a separate story that will make the full line, it’s a seriously great idea for those that are taken into the story as long as the story is worth it.

The only thing I believe that could seriously mess up the game would be if Blizzard made the same mistake UBIsoft made with settlers 7 and have a DRM that disgusts the players and potential customers from the game, and only reason I bought Settlers 7 was cause I am a fan of the series and had not seen the notice of the new type of DRM , had I seen it prior to pre-ordering it, I would not order it and wait until one of my friends had gotten it and tried it or actually wait for a cracked version of the game, Yes you read right, I would download the cracked game because of the DRM, because I believe that when you BUY a game and install it you should be able to play it out of the box no matter if you have an internet connection or not.

A DRM to me is like having a Condom you have to call the company and have the phone conversation during the sexual act to have the protection active thru it, and if you suddenly lose contact with the company on the phone, its protection stops working and all stops working, your partner and you become angry cause you have to stop early and cant resume until you manage to get back in contact with the company…
The moment has gone and it is not worth the effort and it will force you to look for a condom that works all the time during the usage of the product so that you can play for as long as you want.
I know a really odd (and disgusting) way of referencing it but you get the idea clearly, I do not like my games to be interrupted as it was when I was playing Settlers 7 the other day and it timed out a check for its DRM server thingy and ended the game, yes it ends the game shutting itself down when it cant get in contact with its “authentication” server.

I have had a dream the last few days where I am sitting on a stump looking out over a sea of flowers that is white and orange with a red middle and in the midst of the flowers sits 2 rather large white cats like the world of warcraft saber mounts sitting next to each other watching a white-purple-ish moon in the night sky with their tails semi tangling together like holding hands on and off, the last I see of this scene is a stream of light, like a star falling… then I wake up and I am back in my bed looking at the roof above my bed wide awake.

I sometimes wonder about my dreams and what they mean if anything..

This is all for now, may the force be with you and see you soon again.

Left 4 Dead 2 – The Versus Mode

During the last 2 weeks I have gone from playing normal campaign mode in Left 4 Dead 2 to the Versus mode, which I never tried in left 4 Dead so I thought it was worth to at least try it.
I must confess I love playing as the Infected, most of all I like to freak the survivors by being the Hunter, moving around them out of sight and crouching to make the hunter growling sound and sometimes pounce around an area just so they hear the attack scream close by, or I pounce right into the center and jump around among them before going for my target.

The Spitter and Boomer are a brutal combo when setting up a ambush, have the Boomer vomit on them or get in among them to cover them all in bile when he/she blows up, and while the horde of zombies come from all over a perfect spit will make life hard for the poor survivors, if your lucky one of them will be knocked over.
The Charger can make instant death possible in some areas, as the Charger makes his charge your either stuck infront of the running train accident to happened or your thrown away to the side, if extremely unlucky your thrown into deep water, which means instant death in most cases.

As I got bored of the constant bad ping on servers I decided to do what I used to do before, I used to administrate dedicated game server, so checking that I had so I could afford it on my own hand finding that I could indeed squeeze it in for less than expected, I ordered a 8 slot(s) Left 4 Dead 2 Server from interactive 3D, I have been a customer with i3D for sometime and almost all of my game server rentals has been with them, mostly due to low ping and helpful customer service.
At the moment I am trying to figure out why the server wont accept my orders to go into versus mode only, if I cant figure it out I’ll contact customer support.
I made some new friends on the versus course and I am happy to get invites to games when possible, that is if I don’t check the friends column for games their in.

Parts of my history and on subject of love
recently one could read that The Gamer’s Girl got her engagement ring, Congratulations ^_^ I am happy for her.

I do wish I had a girlfriend myself, but as I mentioned in my blog earlier I have a unknown panic attack syndrome, claustrophobia and agoraphobia among the few.

I guess I can write about it as I am pretty open in my blog anyways..

When I was around 4 years old I believe it was I was approached now and then by a bit older kids say like 6 – 9 years of age, asking if I was the younger brother of OB (I will refer to my older brother as OB for Older Brother from here on), of course I answered truthfully that yes I am OB’s younger brother and they began to ask if he was stupid or strange, (He has Dyslexia, which at that time wasn’t so well known as is now) of course as it was my brother they were bad mouthing I was offended that they talked badly about my brother, and this got me into fights and general discomfortable situations.

Now years afterwards I believe this to be a reason why I had such a bad social knowledge, when i began in preschool some began to tease me cause at this stage the previous problems had made me easy to anger and situations often got problematic…

The year I turned 7 I started school and had no knowledge of what was awaited of me or how things would turn out, the class was like 25 students in a small class room and me with claustrophobia and the presence of so many new faces and some which I remember that bullied me during preschool…
I was in that school for only 2 weeks, they had to evacuate me cause they jumped me on the playground, stole my shoes and threw them on the roof and as memory serves someone poured his food inside my shirt during lunch, a small fight broke out and at the end I was blamed by many as the one that started it.

I started a new school after that in a “small class”, lack of a english equalent name for it, basicly a group of outcasts or “special” kids, my problem was of course the social damage and bullying, at least on this school I wasn’t bullied or attacked everyday, it was calmer and I never had any major incidents like that of the other school, teasing and bullying was less frequent and I was not openly attacked here so I had some social reformation, but at this time I felt safer being closer to grown ups so if I felt that tension was high I went to look for a teacher on patrol until it was time to go back to class.

at 4th grade I began in a “small class” for the older kids, 4th to 6th grade, it became a bit rougher then as the other classmates were a bit of the rougher kind and bad tension occurred now and then but never any major fights.

after 6th grade I was moved over to a School for kids with various problems, some of them was there for major problems like drugs or the general trouble maker that starts fights for no reason at all…

The school was at least directly social adjustable after each students needs, I got some help with regaining social trust and help developing to a more posetiveperson, later on after the years I had spent at that school I moved over to a specialised high school with less problematic students, basicly people who had learning disorders went to this school, I ended up there probably due to the social adjustments I needed to help me add some extra points to my general grades, The school was roughly 2 hours total including a combination of travel with train and subway.

The year I was to turn 18 I technicly graduated from that high school and after summer I had choosen to go to Adult Community School (I believe one can translate it as such) that fall I had my first panic attack and pretty much had them every night until i was given medication against it, the attacks I had back then was so intense that I was acctauly placed on the highest allowed dosage and they pretty much made me a walking zombie, I cumped in to everything, as I needed the income one gets when going to school I had to continue even though every day I was depressed, sleepy constantly and affraid of the next panic attack coming around the corner…

This kept on during my later studies as well and I still have panic attacks, but I stoped going to school when I was finally able to get economic support from the goverment, so these days I have a balanced medication that keeps me well enough to do less straining things and everything dosent feel like walking with lead weights on your shoulders.

So back to where we started with the pointing out that I don’t have a girlfriend, this is partialycause that I toke the stance when I was 19 that I would feel really bad having to burden someone I love with the problematics and hardship I endure in life, I am 26 now and so I have had panic attacks for 8 years now, It’s been rough now and again, but I believe I am now so stable that I can have a girlfriend, just hope I meet some nice girls to get to know

On that note I think I may have bored you enough or prehaps enlightend you, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

I just had a run of versus in L4D2, I ended up on a server with like 10-14 year olds, so childish language and one of them that seemed to be a real d-bag kept on being a little shit for most of the game, in the early stages I proved his team that acting an arse wasn’t in his best favor, they basically got like 8-10% of the way in before we ambushed them and ended it there, the match went on, and in the end the team I was on won by +600 points

Basically people, being a dunce and a easily raged person won’t make you a good team player or someone people want to play with in the long run.